Sabbatical 17: The Gift of Presence
It was the last few weeks of my sabbatical, the lazy days of
summer, before I was to resume pastoral leadership at VEV. Joanna and our
leadership team had done such a good job of shielding me from the day-to-day
issues and concerns of the church, so I was free to enjoy relational
connections and community. Vancouver had been in a full-on drought since April
and the landscape was unseasonably brown and barren. During this time, Kathleen
and I enjoyed taking care of people’s kids together and hanging out at parks
with VEV folks. Having slowed down significantly, I was able to see so much
more clearly the remarkable treasure of friends we had in our church family.
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| Our Vancouver born grandson, Samuel, enjoying the Whitecaps game with grandpa |
We also continued to enjoy our extended Vineyard family, including
David and Anita Ruis, who came to serve our church for two Sundays in worship
and teaching, one of those while on their holidays! Remarkable! Then, Danielle
and Markus and our grandkids arrived during the second week of August so we also
enjoyed hanging out with them together with yet more church families for great
picnics. Next, we enjoyed a remarkable reunion with our leadership team for a social,
hosted by the ever-hospitable Pallisters. In addition, I took some time throughout
the month to interview our wonderful pre-teens to get their perspective on what
preteen’s ministry should look like at VEV. One other highlight was taking my Vancouver-born
grandson, Samuel, to a Whitecaps game as a belated birthday present for him. That
night, the Whitecaps had a goal feast, winning 4-0 and we saw two goals scored
right in front of us! So much fun!
Still another one of my August highlights was being asked by
Karen and Stephen to take
care of their primary/preschool aged daughters, Sarah
and Samantha for a day. Kathleen had to work and I was a bit insecure about
taking them on my own for the whole day, but Karen and Stephen seemed confident
that it would be fine, so I went for it. We had an amazing day together, just
hanging out in their neighbourhood. I learned so much from them. However, 15
minutes after Karen had left for work, the girls had been rough housing a bit
together, and Sarah came up to me and announced that her tooth had been knocked
out! I could see she was bleeding. I
thought, “O great, 15 minutes into my babysitting venture and we have blood.”
Well, it all turned out well as it was a baby tooth. Actually, it was an event that
Sarah was quite proud of. So, instead of a disaster, I got in on a milestone! It
was a full day. I got home, retired early and slept well, with a smile on my
face, I’m sure.
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| Sarah (having just lost a tooth) and Samantha. Does it get any better than this? |
The Radical Nature of Slowing Down
Slowing down is harder than we realize. The greatest price of
slowing down is that everyone else is in a hurry and so they think you are in
their way. Well, actually you are, but maybe they need to slow down too. For
example, when you are in traffic and you are going the speed limit, and
everyone else wants to speed, you appear to be an annoyance, even if you stay
out of the passing lane. Life is like that too. The sabbatical had slowed me
down but now I felt the whole world was in a hurry. However, slowing down meant
I could be more attentive and more present – to myself, to others, to God, but it was radically counter-cultural.
It was at this time that I was reminded of something I
discovered when I was working in the Department of Mining Engineering office at
UBC from 1991-1996. During that time, I was able to live the Good News in such
a way that, according to the testimony of the department head, professors, and
staff at the time, it had brought much peace and healing to the department. One
professor had wept in my little office area as I prayed and journeyed with him
through his 20 year old son’s cancer diagnosis, and subsequent recovery. One
lady saw remarkable improvement from a hand injury after I had prayed for her. When
I would walk into the office in the morning, this colleague would announce to
anyone in her hearing, “The healer is here.” I discovered that being a pastor
is not what you do, it’s simply who you are. It is sharing the gift of
presence. This reality was renewed during my last month of sabbatical, as I was
simply chose to be among the congregation. I realized afresh that “pastor” was
simply who I was, not a job description. I didn’t have to try to do anything. I
was looking forward to leading and teaching again, but the essence of being a
pastor was relational presence.
Clarity for the Future and Re-Entry
I was beginning to receive more clarity on direction for my
future, an important objective for the sabbatical. One thing that emerged for
me was spiritual direction. For many
years now, I have regularly received spiritual direction from Jeff Imbach who
is part of an organization called Soulstreams. I cannot
describe the number of times these sessions have been life giving and
life-saving, including the care provided for me on the sabbatical. Both
Kathleen and I discerned that I was being drawn towards more contemplative
living. So, I enrolled in Living from the
Heart, a foundational course with Soulstreams towards receiving training in
spiritual direction. This one-year course has two one-week intensives – one
which was last November and the next one will be in Mid-May. The course
involves monthly small groups, reading, and reflection assignments. It
continues to nurture me and keep me present
now that I’ve returned to pastoral work, along with the spiritual direction
from Jeff that I continue to receive. Indeed, I want to pastor through spiritual
direction for my remaining years.
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| Hanging out with the grandkids in the 'hood |
Related to this, I believe that I am to be present to young
leaders. This kind of investment has always given me so much life over the years and
it has resulted in so much good fruit. Perhaps related to this, Kathleen and I believe
that we are to be closer to our children and grandchildren in the coming
season. Having said that, we can’t make it happen, but it has become a prayer
priority for us.
Finally, at the end of August, Kathleen and I made the
transition to full re-entry by attending VEV Church Camp at Fort Langley. After
camping one night, I was invited to share for a few minutes at our Saturday
morning communion service. Right in the middle of my sharing, a massive windstorm
hit. Trees and branches started crashing down, and our church family camp was
cut short as camp staff had to clear the grounds for safety reasons. Then the
rains came. Miraculously no one was hurt. A sign? If so, I’m still not sure
what it meant but the timing was interesting. All I know for sure is that it
was time to resume pastoring again and to share the greatest gift that I had
received from the sabbatical - the gift of presence.
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| On the river at Church Camp at Ft. Langley - on the sunset of the Sabbatical |